Decide, Feel, Expect: The Recipe for Accomplishing Anything!

Decide what you want; decide what’s important.  Now declare it!  Decide what you are going to do and then do it.  Determination is one of the strongest forces in the Universe!  Once you decide that you are going to do something, have something, achieve something…you are on your way!  What do you want?    

Feel the feeling you will have when what you want to accomplish happens.  Focus on that feeling.  How does it feel?  You want more money?  Why?  To pay bills.  To buy this, or to achieve that?  It is not the bills, or the this, or the that that you need to focus on.  It is the FEELING you will have when the bills are paid, or when you get this, or when you achieve that.  Really think about it; what feelings would you experience once, staying with this example, the bills are paid?  Would you feel a sense of security?  Would you feel more relaxed and at ease?  Maybe you would feel a weight lifted off of you?  Really take a moment to figure out what feelings you would have…and the FEEL them!  You can feel those feelings NOW.  Feelings can be inspired by events (such as paying your bills), but they are not DEPENDENT on events.  Feeling those feelings puts you in the FEELING PLACE you need to be in to receive MORE of those feelings, and this applies to all kinds of things: money, relationships, weight-loss.  The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like.  By feeling the feelings, you will attract the events that you have connected to those feelings, and you will experience MORE of those same feelings!  What a wonderful thing!   

Expect positive results.  Don’t spend too much time thinking about how, or even WHEN the result will come.  Simply anticipate its arrival!  It does not matter how it gets here.  If you place too specific of a requirement on HOW something is to happen, you are limiting yourself and may miss an opportunity to experience all that you are wanting.  While this may feel like magic, and in some ways it is very much like magic, it may not happen instantly like the rubbing a magic lamp.  Sometimes the results that we are waiting for will require patience and a certain level of detachment.  If we focus on WAITING for the result, we will experience more of the WAITING, and that is opposite of our goal!    

Easy, easy, easy.  It is EASY if you expect it to be easy.  Only three steps:  1.  Decide.  2.  Feel.  3.  Expect.  It can all be yours by following this simple recipe!  Happy days are here!!  

Ready?  1, 2, 3…GO!

Puzzles and Patterns

Have you ever noticed the same situations and the same kinds of people have a tendency to show up in our lives?  Have you also noticed that we tend to react the same way, creating the same outcome?  We repeat patterns in our lives, and those patterns produce pieces that we diligently and work to fit together to complete a picture.  Another way to look at this is as puzzle pieces locking together to form a picture in our lives.  These pictures are much like completed puzzles, and these are the finished products of the pieces we have collected.    

When looking at a completed puzzle, it is easier to see all of the pieces that formed together to create the finished puzzle.  If you look at each individual piece of that same puzzle, it is not so easy to see what the end result will be; at least not unless you have seen the finished product.  When we put together a jigsaw puzzle, we usually have a picture of the completed design on the front of the box to reference.  If only life made it that easy!  Sometimes the finished product is not indicative of the individual pieces that created it, and it is only after taking a step back and noticing how all the of puzzles are related that we start to be able to identify the pieces that created the puzzle.  

Puzzles find the pieces they need to finish the picture that they know, and that is why the same “puzzle pieces” keep showing up in our lives.  At least until we put them away, or until we no longer need them.  Patterns manifest themselves in so many areas of our lives.  Things are presented to us in subtle ways, and many times we don’t even see the pattern or the connection until we look at it in retrospect.  And even then sometimes it takes a keen eye to notice the correlations and the similarities.  Too often patterns repeat themselves as metaphors, so we have to be observant.  When we are looking at something that has manifested in our lives, we have to remember that we cannot be too literal, or we might miss the pattern that has given birth to the manifestation we are observing.  Once we can “see” a pattern, we can start the inner reflection we need to stop reliving patterns that do not produce the results we want in our lives.  Unexamined and unresolved patterns can lead us into bad relationships; to making bad decisions; to self-sabotage.  When we can “see” the patterns and understand the paths we unconsciously and repeatedly take, we can start to avoid the path that leads us to the inevitable outcomes we work so hard to overcome.  I had an experience recently that highlighted one of my patterns to me.  A seemingly independent, real and concrete thing in my life was in truth a manifestation of a pattern I keep repeating.  The result had manifested a different way each time, but it was born from the same pattern.  This particular event was one of many forms this pattern has manifested in my life.  Without taking too much time to dwell on the particulars of the incident that opened my eyes, I was presented with a concrete example of a completed puzzle in my life.  A completed puzzle that was looking me straight in the face, and I realized that I had put together this event in my life using the pieces my patterns created for me.  My repeated pattern appeared in my life as a finished picture, and I was suddenly able to see it!  I was able to look at the completed picture and see how, while it looked different than it had looked in other moments in my life, it was created by the same patterns which manifested the pieces of the puzzle.  This has been presented to me over and over again, it may look different, it may feel different, but it is the same puzzle being shown to me again and again.   I had a moment, a tap on the back, a realization; I had what Cheryl Richardson would call an “Unmistakable Touch of Grace” (which is the title of her aptly titled book - see my recommended reading section for more information).  Whatever you want to call it, it all became so clear to me.  

It is only after painstakingly observing my own patterns for a while, that I have suddenly been able to see a pattern as it emerges, I am seeing the pieces all lining up.  The pieces are different and the picture on the box is not the same picture as the last puzzle, but the pattern is identical.  It is just manifesting itself as another picture.  We unconsciously continue to seek the pieces to complete yet another puzzle, so that we can “see” the pattern in another way.  Until we are able to look at the collection of our finished puzzles and see the pattern that created them, we will continue to attract new puzzle pieces in our lives.  This is perhaps one of the benefits of experience; we can see that there are actually gifts hidden in all of those puzzles we have been putting together - even the ones we didn’t like so much once we had then all put together.  

Look at your life.  Step outside of your head for a minute and look around you at all of the completed puzzles lying around in your world.  Think in terms of a metaphor and see how they all can be related?  These metaphors are all just different ways the pattern has manifested in your life, and they are all showing up to tell you something.  It becomes easier to see the picture when it is presented in different ways, and that’s why sometimes there are so many pieces!  Once we can see the pattern, we can address whatever is creating it and learn to stop repeating it…which makes it all worthwhile.    

Change The Channel

Our attitude has such a profound effect on the way we perceive things.  It is really amazing.  What I have noticed is possible, but admittedly requires practice, is that we have the power to change our experience whenever we want to just by changing our attitude.  Yes!  We have the power to think however we want to about something, and if our thoughts are not serving us, we can decide to think about something else.  

Changing your attitude can be hard when you are stuck in the feelings of the moment.  When we are in a situation in which we are feeling bad, we need to have triggers we can use to shift our thinking and get ourselves out for the negative space we are currently experiencing.   We need to develop some tools we can use when we find ourselves in a bad mood, or stuck in complaining mode when everything seems to be going wrong.  Sometimes we are stuck in victim thinking.  Why torture ourselves by continuing to think about things or pay attention to things that upset us?  That just gives what is bothering us more power to ruin the moment we are in.  Huh?  Press the channel up button on the remote control, and go to another program.  When you are in a situation that is causing you to have a bad attitude, change the channel!  Think about what IS working in your day, remind yourself of what is GOOD in your life, focus on something that makes you happy in that instant.  A smell, a memory, a song, an image; think about anything that takes you out of the current moment.  Then, remind yourself that this is only a piece of your day; all the things that are happening around you are merely events existing in the space that you are currently in.  These events or situations are not YOU, and they will pass.  Focus on that aspect; this (whatever it is) will pass, and you will come out on the other side free of whatever is bothering you!   

Another thing I have noticed is how quickly our attitude can change when we are in a stressful situation.  What we perceive as “stressful” can be many things:  physical pain, being hungry, being sleep deprived, having a headache, illness, etc.  These things can act like a magnet and take all of our focus, which does not leave us with as much energy to press the button on that remote control when attitude shifting situations pop up.  So what do we do?  We need to train ourselves to recognize situations for what they are and remind ourselves that we are not defined by our situations.  Recognize what is going on and don’t get swept up in the emotional tide that the situation brings with it.  Instead of getting mad at someone or something that is happening, recognize and acknowledge what the truth of the situation is:  I am hungry and tired, and now Susie asking me so many questions and is irritating me. Now, Susie’s questions may very well be irritating, and I am not suggesting we lie to ourselves and pretend things are something that they are not.  What I am asking is that we try to recognize things for what they are:  I am so hungry, but as soon as I get home I am going to eat, and I am definitely going to go to bed early tonight.  Susie is irritating me, but I am leaving and will not have to talk to her anymore today – she is not coming home with me and she does not have the power to ruin my day.  Calm yourself down by being your own therapist.  Work through each situation like you are counseling someone else, and then take our own advice.  

We cannot be in denial about things that need to be addressed, but we do have the power to decide what we want to give our attention to.  With practice, we can shift our attitude any time we want to!  Do you have your remote control ready?

 

Pleasure vs. Pain

When we genuinely and completely want to do something, we will do it.  It’s as simple as that.  We have the power to accomplish anything we set our minds to.  That’s not just something our parents or teachers said to us to boost our confidence…it’s true! 

Motivation is about what is less painful.  The feeling of doing it, or the feeling of not doing it?  Because what feels “easier” becomes what is the least painful, sometimes we lose sight of what is really important.  In order to get or to stay motivated, we fist have to identify what we want, and then DECIDE we are going to do it.  This expands into all areas from losing weight, quitting smoking, cleaning the house, learning a new skill, developing a relationship.  Identify what is important, and just go do it.  Break it down.  I want to feel motivated to “fill-in-the-blank.”  Ok, what gets in the way or stops me from doing that?  No time, get too distracted, kids need me, have to work, too tired.  Ok, what will it take to “fix” each of the roadblocks you have identified?  Create a schedule (time management), turn off the TV and establish limits for computer usage (personal distraction factors), organize plan things around your children’s needs and your work schedules (external distraction factors), go to bed earlier (you get the idea).   Some people benefit from making a list or creating a schedule.  I know that when I found myself losing sight of what I had determined I needed to do in a given day, I started writing a “To Do List” every morning.  Keep in mind, it is equally as important to recognize what is NOT important to you, and then let yourself off the hook for those things to avoid the pitfalls of self-sabotage.    

Once you have a clear picture of what is important or what you want to accomplish, and then identify what it will take to get you there.  DECIDE you are going to DO IT!  When the urge comes to NOT do what you have decided to do (i.e. cheat on your diet, not exercise, not clean up a mess in the kitchen), you are not following your own plan.  You are being an insubordinate to YOU.  If you think of your well-being as a business, and one of your employees (you) was blatantly and repeatedly defying the instructions you gave, what would happen?  You would not tolerate that type of behavior from someone else, so why accept it from ourselves?

If you are not clear on your desire to do something, it’s possible you won’t do it unless forced by external factors.  In other words, you won’t do it until you have to.  The accountability factor can be motivating, but we can work around that if we don’t have the spark within us to accomplish or achieve something.  And, if we use accountability as our only source of motivation, we will lose all momentum once the accountability factor is removed.  Then what?  We need to firmly establish a motive from within, because ultimately it is from within where we find the true source of inspiration necessary to sustain us along our journey.   

Again, it’s about what is less painful: The feeling of doing something, or the feeling of not doing something.  You want your backyard cleaned up, you want to quit smoking, you want to lose weight, you want to find a new job.  Or maybe you need motivation for simple tasks such as doing some laundry, or getting in the shower, or making dinner.  The bottom line is, no matter how big or important the task, we have to do the work to get the results.  The best laid plans are useless without action behind the words.  As human beings, it is easy to gravitate to the path of least resistance, but we need to stay focused on the end result and not get lost in the immediate pleasure of giving in to what appears to be easier.  Instead of thinking about how hard something is, how much we don’t want to do it, how bad something feels, we need to remember and focus on how good it will feel once it has been accomplished.  Focusing on that good feeling breeds opportunities for more good feelings.  Think of how satisfied you will feel knowing that you have been productive and accomplished what you declared you wanted to do!

Your innate power and strength is all you need to serve as your motivation.  Decide what is important, and then DECIDE you are going to do it.  Ready?  1, 2, 3….GO!

The Power of Choice

"Some times, you have to wipe the slate or take one powerful swoop with your arms and clean the drafting table of your life and start anew. That's what Denise Scarbro did . . . Read her wonderful entry for The Whirling Blog: The Power of Choice." 
~ Gene-Manuel, The Whirling Blog


On July 1st, I had the honor of appearing as a guest writer on Gene-Manuel Whirling's website.  Click HERE to read my entry, "The Power of Choice," and take a moment to browse around at the art and inspiration that Gene has to offer!

"In my quest to improve my life, I began to explore what I believe to be at the root of all our happiness and sorrow, the motivation behind all of our decisions, the cause of every action we take: our thoughts." 
~ Denise Scarbro, The Power of Choice (as seen on The Whirling Blog)

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About Gene-Manuel (excerpted from website):

"I'm in the process of understanding my place in this world and the best way to use my life and time here on this earth. Awakening. The works on paper featured on this site are proving to be my guides on this journey.  The Magicalized Portraits also bring joy, not only to myself, but to those who commission them for themselves or gifts.  It's an honor to do what I do and bring these images forth on the page." ~ Gene-Manuel


Please visit Gene-Manuel at www.gene-manuel.com to learn more!

Curtain Call

All people present a persona when they interact with the world. Personas are the characters we portray to others as our identity.  You have heard of using your “phone voice” while at work, or having to be “on” when referring to socializing at a party or gathering.  We behave a certain way when talking to our boss; another way when we are on a first date; another when talking to our parents; and still another when talking to our friends.  We use different personas for different occasions, and while some personas are actually necessary and can be very useful, at times we unfortunately resort to a persona that is born out of insecurity or fear.  We create personas that are worn like masks that we can wear when we are worried about impressing others, when we don’t want to disappoint someone, or when we want to fit in.

Built out of what we believe to be expected of us by our parents, friends, teachers, society, or constructed to protect ourselves as a defense mechanism, our personas are a product of our thoughts and beliefs.  When we spend too much time worrying about what others think of us, we lose ourselves in the personas we create, and we can even lose sight of our inner truth.  In the spirit of winning friends, impressing people, going with the flow, or not rocking the boat, we call forth a persona we can wear as a mask that portrays what we think will be the most appealing.  When we are feeling insecure we try to mold to what we believe is expected of us in a given situation.  We do this to soothe our fear of not being liked, of looking weak, or to avoid feeling different.  Sometimes in an attempt to protect our self-esteem, we even put on a façade for ourselves and lose ourselves in the mask we have decided to wear for others. We want to fit the mold or ideal that we have determined is the appropriate or acceptable role for us to play.  We may behave arrogantly to hide our insecurities, put down others to elevate our self-worth, or behave in other ways that act as false cures for our damaged psyches. 

We can choose to think however we want to, we can decide what is important to us and what is not, and when we want to, we can change our minds!  We can literally be anything we decide to be; what a wonderful skill we have!  And isn’t what we believe for ourselves more important than what others want to believe for us anyway?  When you are at peace with every aspect of yourself, the good and the bad, you can freely present your authentic persona.  By accepting who we are, appreciating others for who they are, knowing that everyone has their own unique truth in this world, and by recognizing that we cannot please others people by being someone we are not, we can get touch with our authentic self.   

People are either going to like us or they are not, and I think it is safe to say that we would all rather have someone like us for our authentic self than be in love with our mask.  In truth, it doesn't even matter what someone else thinks about us.  The sun will still rise tomorrow...no matter what they think!

Who is Driving This Train?

What is going on right in this moment?  Listen to the sounds around you.  Feel the chair you are sitting in.  Scan the room and take notice of the things around you.  Is the light on?  Is the light off?  Are there any smells in the air?  Now, take note of what you noticed.  What color is the wall?  The answer should be a color.  Plain and simple.  Most times, observations are accompanied by a judgment.  "The wall is brown" (truth).  "I am tired of this color" (judgment).  "Maybe I should paint in here?" (judgment).  "This room and the brown walls remind me of this, or remind me of that..." (judgment, judgment).  You get the picture.

We cannot help but have preferences and opinions.  Thoughts are not a bad thing, quite the opposite actually!  Our wonderful, beautiful thoughts that illicit good feelings lead us to positive experiences; however, negative thoughts that go unchecked can lead us down a path that does not serve our well-being.  We would not consciously choose to stay on a run away train to worry, self-hatred, self-criticism, anger or regret.  We are in charge of our thoughts.  We are driving this train.  Do not allow yourself to get on that run away train in the first place.  With some practice becoming aware of our thoughts, we can choose what thoughts we actually want to spend time with.  We do not have to let our thoughts dictate our moods; we control what we decide to think about. 

Staying in the NOW means staying in the moment.  Staying with what is going on at this moment, and not allowing yourself to get lost in things that are not even happening right now is how we can be in charge and not get lost in thoughts that do not serve us.  Why spend time worrying, obsessing, dreading? Thinking about what happened before?  Wondering what will happen?  It is all not happening NOW.  Now, this does not mean that it is not ok for us to plan, to learn from previous experiences, to contemplate future decisions, etc.  What it does mean is we need to be aware of when we have allowed our thoughts to lead us onto that runaway train, and then take back control of the ride!

You Never Know

We are all looking out into the world from our own eyes, from our own perspective.  We observe things, we interpret information, and then we draw conclusions.  This is part of the definition of intelligence and higher reasoning.  The way we process information is influenced by our experiences and our knowledge.  Unless we can conclude that with all certainty a certain conclusion is a concrete fact, the conclusion we make could be better described as a judgment or an assumption.  

My friend called me today to tell me about something she had witnessed while at the gas station.  As she pumped her gas, she noticed a car driving noticeably slow in the street in front of the station.  A truck driving behind the car blared his horn in impatient protest, and startled everyone in ear shot.  The small car pulled up to one of the pumps and the driver turned off the engine.  My friend watched as the driver opened the door and emerged from the car.  A man made his way out of the car.  He leaned on a cane as he made his way to the gas pump and began to pump gas into the car.  Recognizing the driver as a man she knew from town, my friend turned her attention back to the truck driving down the street who had honked at the man.  Little did the driver in the truck know that this man had just lost his wife to cancer; that he had injured his leg in a car accident several months ago; that his son and daughter-in-law, his only family, just announced that they are moving out of state. 

This story highlights an important lesson.  We don't know what is going on in other people's lives.  We have no idea what motivates other people to do things, we may never know, and it's not really any of our business.  The person ahead of you in line may have just lost his job; the lady working in the check out at the grocery store owns a home that just went into foreclosure; the little kid who is always loitering around at  the convenient store is ignored by his father and his mother hits him when she drinks.  While the truck driver was understandably frustrated that the car in front of him was driving too slow, all he needed to do was change lanes, or wait a few extra seconds for the man to turn into the gas station.   

People's circumstances do not excuse them from following the rules of society, or respecting other people's personal liberties, but we should be a little easier with each other.  We cannot let our judgments and assumptions allow us to get so easily irritated or angry.  If we are more conscious of our thinking and how we connect to others, we will be much better at not allowing assumption and conjecture to guide our behavior.  A small change sometimes has the biggest results.

My friend made a point to say hello to the man when she was finished pumping her gas.  The man smiled at her and said, "Looks like a beautiful day today.  Don't you love it when the sun is shining?"  She smiled back at him and pulled her car out into the street.

Mirror, Mirror On the Wall….

As I do every day, I called my house one day not too long ago while on the way home from work to let my kids know I had left the office.  My teenage son answered, and we had a short (and apparently painful) conversation.  He was clearly irritated with me, as my call must have been interrupting something much more interesting.  At one point, I asked him if he was even listening to me, and his exasperated response was that he already knows what I am calling to say.  I was not happy with his annoyed tone of voice, and I told him this as we hung up.  While driving, I reflected upon our conversation.  I wanted to know why he always seemed so irritated with me, and seemingly without reason?  Then it hit me.  The reason he acts so irritated with me on the phone is because I do the exact same thing to him.  Because I am usually tired and annoyed when I call, and my tone is frequently irritated and impatient, my son was being my mirror accordingly.  I realized that I need to watch what I am putting out there, because whatever I put out there is going to reflect right back at me. 

Now I know this sounds a little simplistic, but I believe that thinking of this in this way is even more meaningful than what psychologists would identify as him modeling my behavior, or him simply acting like a teenager.  Yes, he was reacting to me in a fashion that he had learned through observing me; however, imagining him as a mirror reflecting back to me made a much bigger impression on me.  Thinking of it in this way helped me to internalize the lesson, as it struck me as a clear demonstration of how the mirrors work.  From that point on, I made a concerted effort to put out what I want to see reflected back.  At first, my loving, patient responses while on my drive home went unnoticed by my son.  But then, like a light switch had been turned on, I began to see a shift. His tone began to soften, and we were having normal, peaceful conversations.  All I had to do was change what I was putting out there, and the reflection I was getting back began to change.  This new understanding led me to imagine everyone I encountered literally with little mirrors on them, reflecting back to me.  Right away, I started to notice things that I had never seen before. 

 

I began to monitor my own behavior much more closely and be consciously aware of my moods.  I started to interact with people with a whole new understanding, and it was practically effortless.  When I was irritated with someone, I identified the quality in them that was irritating me, and then I tried to see how it was something I was putting out there that was reflecting back at me. Once I could identify and own the quality, I could then acknowledge it and put it away.  The things that were irritating me did not bother me as much anymore.  Amazingly, once I could see that the things other people were doing only irritated me when they struck a chord within me, their behavior no longer affected me in the same way.  It was almost like once I forgave the quality within me, it no longer existed in the reflection.  Dealing with others became much more peaceful, and now that I truly understand what I am seeing in my relationships is largely a result of the mirror, I have been able to appreciate my interactions with others on a whole new level.  

Everyone is a mirror.  What do you see in your reflection?

Break Free of Your Story

Sometimes, we cannot break free of what we believe we are, even when that belief is the last thing we want to be.  We might wonder things like:  Why do I always get taken advantage of?  Why do I always get into bad relationships?  How come I never can to get ahead?  Why do I always have such bad luck?

Our beliefs about ourselves become self-fulfilling prophecies.  When we believe negative things about ourselves, we unconsciously look for confirmation of those beliefs.  Those beliefs become our stories, and we look for ways to corroborate and reinforce our stories.  How often do you sing the same old song?  Is it "I'm stupid," "I'm fat," "I'll never meet anyone," "I will never make any money," "I always lose," "My job sucks," or maybe something else?  How many times do you unconsciously introduce elements of your story into situations to bring the focus back to your drama?  We all do it.  By recognizing when we are living in our story and then making a conscious decision to stop, we can free ourselves.  Give it some thought; once you recognize how you might be reinforcing your story, catch yourself and stop!  You get to take charge once you decide not to give that drama any more of your energy.

I have been making a real effort to notice how often I tell my story.  I realized I frequently tell a story by talking about how exhausted and over-worked I am, how many hours I am working, how little time I have to myself, and so on.  By telling my tale of woe, even when I am just complaining about it to myself, I reinforce my story. The "poor me, I am such a martyr" story that just makes me feel worse about my situation and certainly does not help me to change the circumstances that created the story.  I do not need to keep telling that story to validate my efforts, to make my perceived sacrifices real, or to make me feel like a good person.  In fact, if I stop talking about how awful things are, I might start to enjoy the aspects of my life that are getting lost as I drown in my story.  When I focus on what is good in my life instead of what I am unhappy with, I get more evidence of THAT story!

Is there a story of your own that you can identify, and can you now decide you are willing to let go of it?  Please comment below, share your decision to stop telling your story with a friend, or write about it in a journal.  Consciously declaring the end of the story will help you to finally close the book!

Random Acts of Kindness

While working at the restaurant this past weekend, I was presented with a wonderful example of a random act of kindness.  At the time, I was busy waiting on several tables.  I was tired and starting to find it difficult to put on a cheerful face.  In the middle of what for me was a stressful environment, something happened that transformed me and changed my entire outlook for the day.

A new party of three was seated in a booth in my section, right in front of another customer who I had already served.  The family ordered their breakfast, and then the woman at the table beckoned me to lean in closely as she whispered: "We would like to pay for that gentleman behind us.  Please give us his bill, and when he asks for his check, don't tell him who paid for it."

Well, at first I have to admit, I was confused and had no idea what she was talking about.  Unfortunately, witnessing a random act of kindness in action was out of context for me; therefore, I needed a moment to process what was going on and catch up with these nice people.  Once the light bulb went on, I smiled at them and shook my head in acknowledgment.  The man in the booth, completely unaware of what had just transpired, continued to eat his meal.  I felt so good being the keeper of this little secret; I was almost giddy! 

When the man finished his meal, he called me over and asked for his check.  I informed him that his bill was taken care of, and that he had been the lucky recipient of a random act of kindness.  He looked around the restaurant sheepishly with a smile on his face, and then looked to me to reassure him that this was not a joke.  I assured him that this was very real and congratulated him on his accidental fortune.  He left the restaurant in shock and with a spring in his step.  The family who paid for his meal smiled and continued to eat their breakfast in complete anonymity.  As for me, I went about my business working, but there was a noticeable difference in my attitude.  I had a renewed energy and a genuine smile on my face.  My day had changed completely in that moment. That's the power of a random act of kindness.  This act was not even done for me; I only witnessed it.  Now that's what I call a ripple effect!

I have told my story about the random act of kindness I witnessed, and described the wonderful feeling it gave me to many people since the weekend.  That one act of kindness keeps on giving.  In fact, it is giving once again right now as you read this.

What act of kindness, random or not, have you experienced lately?  Please comment below and tell your story.  Keep the ripple going!

Positivity Shifters

When all is calm, we know what to just what to do.  We can relax, look at life logically, reason with ourselves, and stay on track easily.  But when we are irritated, angry, or depressed, something is missing.  Not only do we not see what to do, sometimes when we are feeling overpowered by the negative space we are in, we don't really even care.  So what do we do?  What is something we can do in that exact moment to get us back on track?  We need a triggering event, but we also need a way to trigger the triggering event!  We need a "Positivity Shifter" to shift our attention and get out of the negative space.  Once we are out of the negative space, things begin to shift and we can start to piece things together.  An immediate signal that can serve as the reminder we need in that moment - that's a Positivity Shifter.  What works for one person may not work for another, but that is why it is so important to hear as many suggestions as possible now, when we are not in the middle of a negative space.  The more we have to draw upon, the better equipped we will be when we need a Positivity Shifter to get us back in alignment.

There are many Positivity Shifters, but here are a few that work for me:

• Slow, deep breaths
• Short bursts of physical activity
• Stretching
• Listing three things I am grateful for
• Calming sensory input (smells, music)

 Do you use a mantra?  Count to ten?  Please comment below and share your Positivity Shifters with me!