Break Free of Your Story

Sometimes, we cannot break free of what we believe we are, even when that belief is the last thing we want to be.  We might wonder things like:  Why do I always get taken advantage of?  Why do I always get into bad relationships?  How come I never can to get ahead?  Why do I always have such bad luck?

Our beliefs about ourselves become self-fulfilling prophecies.  When we believe negative things about ourselves, we unconsciously look for confirmation of those beliefs.  Those beliefs become our stories, and we look for ways to corroborate and reinforce our stories.  How often do you sing the same old song?  Is it "I'm stupid," "I'm fat," "I'll never meet anyone," "I will never make any money," "I always lose," "My job sucks," or maybe something else?  How many times do you unconsciously introduce elements of your story into situations to bring the focus back to your drama?  We all do it.  By recognizing when we are living in our story and then making a conscious decision to stop, we can free ourselves.  Give it some thought; once you recognize how you might be reinforcing your story, catch yourself and stop!  You get to take charge once you decide not to give that drama any more of your energy.

I have been making a real effort to notice how often I tell my story.  I realized I frequently tell a story by talking about how exhausted and over-worked I am, how many hours I am working, how little time I have to myself, and so on.  By telling my tale of woe, even when I am just complaining about it to myself, I reinforce my story. The "poor me, I am such a martyr" story that just makes me feel worse about my situation and certainly does not help me to change the circumstances that created the story.  I do not need to keep telling that story to validate my efforts, to make my perceived sacrifices real, or to make me feel like a good person.  In fact, if I stop talking about how awful things are, I might start to enjoy the aspects of my life that are getting lost as I drown in my story.  When I focus on what is good in my life instead of what I am unhappy with, I get more evidence of THAT story!

Is there a story of your own that you can identify, and can you now decide you are willing to let go of it?  Please comment below, share your decision to stop telling your story with a friend, or write about it in a journal.  Consciously declaring the end of the story will help you to finally close the book!